Moving On
by Incognito girl
Summary: Don't try to think that we can understand each other. For some reason people think that they can do that. Remember that they can't. Never completely. Never enough. My first fic. SxA romance. Chapter 1: Flashback to Third Impact


**Disclaimer:** Heh, wow. I can barely believe it. My first disclaimer. Never thought I'd ever see it. Well, I don't own NGE nor do I ever want to. why would I want to own a piece of work that people continually distort and misinterpret without a second thought, sometimes even in perverse ways? Haha, just kidding. But no, really I don't own Eva and if you think I do, you are gravely mistaken. …you twat.

**Author's Note:** Hey all! Well, this is my first fic. Actually, I had written this back in July. What is that? Like, seven months ago? Hahaha. Anyway, I'm just getting around to posting this now. I seriously can't completely remember where I was going to go with this, so don't hold your breath for too long, thinking that a second chapter is coming up soon. Unless, you're really, really good at holding your breath. So there that is. Don't say I didn't warn you. If you know me, the following statement will be obvious: this is an Asuka x Shinji fic. So! Without further adieu...

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MOVING ON

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It had been almost two years since the events of Third Impact. Fifteen year old Shinji Ikari, pilot of Evangelion Unit 01, the Third Child, had become God during the events of Instrumentally. But instead of choosing the path that had been predicted by his father, the former Commander Gendo Ikari of Nerv, he chose to live. He chose to abandon an eternity of false happyness for a world full of pain, hate and suffering. In his most desperate hours, in his most deepest, darkest depression, the boy had found hope. Standing in front of the chance of eternal bliss away from his loneliness, he turned and realized... that he wasn't alone.

x...x

Flashback

x...x

"Hey Shinji get up! We're going to be late to school! You're always making us late."

Shinji, still in his groggy, morning state, threw his pillow at the door where the voice of his childhood friend, Asuka Langly Soryu, had been coming from. "Uuuhhhhg...Go away...up later..." Shinji mumbled and then proceeded to turn onto his side and pulled his comforter over his head, falling back to sleep.

Persistent as ever, Asuka came into the room, picked up the discarded pillow, and threw it as hard as possible can throw a pillow at blanket covered lump.

"Hey! Damnnit Asuka! Why'd you have to go and do that! Jeez." Uncovering his head Shinji squinted his eyes, adjusting them to the bright morning lights in order to get a better look at his aggressor.

"Oh come on sleepy Shinji, it was only a pillow, you know it didn't hurt that much. Besides, don't you know what time it is? We got TEN minutes before the first bell!" Asuka, taking advantage of the poor boy's drowsy state, grabbed hold of the comforter and yanked it off of him, exposing his body to the cold. "Now get up and out of bed before we're really...AHHHHH! Shinji, you pervert! I said 'get up and out of bed', not 'get up and get off!'"

Shinji, now more awake and a very light tint of pink, grabbed his blanket and covered himself. "Jeez, Asuka, I can't help it. Besides, it's perfectly natural in the morning for guys."

Asuka whirled around a walked out the door into the hallway, trying to hide the furiously deep blush that had formed on her face, but not before saying, "I don't care you pervert!" Still blushing, Asuka closed the door behind her and allowed Shinji to change, she mumbled to herself, "Baka-Shinji."

x...x

Inside his room, Shinji began to dress. As he was putting on his blue undershirt, he paused, hearing Asuka and his mom talking.

x...x

"I'm sorry you have to put up with him. I tried to get him up earlier, but he just wouldn't listen. It's so nice of you to come here every morning to go with him to school." Yui sighed, one hand supporting her head, the other across her chest holding a spatula. Forming a warm yet, slightly teasing smile, Shinji's mother continued. "It seems as though you're the only one he ever listens to. I must say that you two make quite the cute couple."

Asuka became embarrassed stumbling over her words, "I-i-it's, I mean..h-he, y-you know its not like that Auntie Yui!"

x...x

Hearing all of this, Shinji began to blush, secretly hoping that what it could be like his mother had said. Finally finished dressing, opened the door revealing himself to Asuka and Yui, still slightly blushing, giving away that he had heard them. Asuka looked away avoiding his eyes. Yui could only giggle. Shinji wanted to chuckle at how awkward and adorable Asuka looked, trying to pretend like she hadn't said anything when all of a sudden he felt a sharp pain in his head. Grabbing his head in one hand, the boy gave a yelp, "Ah!"

Both women turned to Shinji with concerned looks on their faces. Asuka was the first to say something, "Hey Shinji, you okay?"

Shinji winced, 'There it is again. What is that? I feel dizzy and it feels like...like...' He couldn't place the odd feeling the pain had given him. He looked up and saw Asuka staring at him, growing more worried. He just stared at her until he realized he had yet to reply to her, "Uh, y-yeah. I'm fine. Just a little headache...I guess." 'hmm...is that really all it is?'

Not completely satisfied, Asuka decided to forget it for now as he seemed to no longer be in pain. "Well, whatever. Come on slowpoke, we're gonna have to run."

Shinji grabbed his things and gave his mom a kiss on the cheek. "Good bye, Mother. I'm off!" It came again, the sharp pain had returned and disappeared as soon as it came. Shaking it off, he followed Asuka to the door. Just before leaving, he felt someone put a hand on his shoulder.

"Have a good day at school, Son." a half smiling Gendo gave Shinji a pat on his shoulder.

"Okay, Father. You too, have a good day at work." Shinji smiled ant then thought, 'Work? Where is it that father works at again?' The pain came back. 'God! what is wrong with me today!'

"Good bye Auntie! Uncle!"

The two teens exited the apartment bidding there goodbyes. After running at full speed for about five minutes, Shinji began to slow down and eventually came to a stop, bending over to catch his breath. Asuka noticed this and turned around, coming to an immediate halt. "Hey Shinji come on! We're late!"

"huffhuff Exactly! So why are we running? If we're already tardy, why not take our time? It's not like they'll mark us 'really, really tardy'." Shinji finally regained his breath and began to walk towards Asuka.

"Well I suppose you've got a point."

"See? Even you admit that I'm right sometimes!"

"Ugh, Whatever."

Shinji smiled at his little victory over the redhead.

"We wouldn't have been in this situation in the first place if you weren't busy getting off so early in the morning. I swear! You have no decency or morality! Always having those nasty dreams about me!"

"Oh God! First of all, I already told you that its completely natural! All guys get it in the morning! They even got a special name for it! Morning wood! Its probably even in the dictionary!"

"That doesn't make it right." Asuka interrupted, mumbling.

"Second of all," Shinji turned to Asuka with an evil grin, "who says I was even dreaming of you? You're not the only girl I know, you know. What if I was thinking of Katsuragi-sensei? Now THAT woman has got a body, teacher or not! Or how about..."

Before he could finish Asuka started waking faster ahead of him. "Errrrr! I don't care you pervert!"

"Hey! H-H-Hey, Asuka! Wait up!" Shinji ran up behind her and grabbed her arm by the wrist and spun her around, ignoring the throbbing pain in his head. "Hey, wait. Come on Asuka, are you mad at me? You know I'm not like that. I was just kidding around." The pain was increasing, but Shinji was trying his best to ignore it.

Asuka turned away. "Whatever, its not like I care about who you fantasize about anyways." Now looking at the ground, she softly said, "Its not like it concerns me at all."

"Asuka, what are you talk...I mean, I..." Shinji looked at her with utter confusion, until... "Asuka, a...are you jealous?"

Asuka began to blush more and then looking up, she got closer to his face, shouting, "And what if I am!"

To say the least, Shinji was shocked. He had no idea that Asuka liked him that way. Forget about the throbbing pain, Asuka liked him! He then noticed how close they were to each other. Their eyes locked and they stood there, for what seemed like hours. Shinji still holding onto her wrist with his left hand brought his right up to Asuka's cheek. She was shock at first that he was taking the initiative but then relaxed into his touch.

They began to lean in closer to each other, tilting there heads and slowly closing their eyes in anticipation of what was to come next.

'I thought that these feelings had been one sided all this time ever since we met back when...'

"AHHHHH!"

Letting go of Asuka, Shinji screamed and grasped his head, falling to his knees.

"Shinji? Shinji, What's wrong!" Asuka was beyond worried. She was frightened. All of a sudden Shinji was on the ground, screaming in great pain. Asuka could see him shaking and sweating and she didn't know what to do.

'Ahhh! God! What is this? It's like my mind is dieing! This is all wrong! How come I can't remember when Asuka and I met? When..." All of a sudden

**:Flash:**

_He was on some kind of large carrier boat and there stood Asuka in a yellow dress, wearing a cocky, arrogant smile._

**:Flash:**

'What, what was that?' confused, he sat there, trying to remember where that was and when it had happened.

**:Flash:**

_This time it was of him as a little boy wearing a horizontal blue and white striped t-shirt and shorts. He was crying, standing next to his suitcase. He called out, "Father! Father! Don't leave! Father, don't leave me alone!" as a man walked away from him._

**:Flash:**

"I...I remember. But then how..."

"Shinji! Shinji, What's going on?" Asuka was seriously panicking as tears began to form in Shinji's eyes.

**:Flash:**

_Shinji stood facing his father in front of his mother's grave_

_"This grave - just for show. There's no body here." Gendo spoke in his monotone voice. Only this time, Shinji thought it seemed a little strained, as if there was a slight hint of sadness in it. But then again, maybe he was just imagining it._

_"Shinji... don't look for me anymore."_

_"...What?"_

_"Stand on your own two feet and walk."_

_Shinji stood and listened to his father speak, not completely grasping everything the man was saying._

_"Don't try to think that we can understand each other. For some reason people think that they can do that. Remember that they can't. Never completely. Never enough." He paused. "People...such sad creatures."_

**:Flash:**

_"This grave - just for show. There's no body here."_

**:Flash:**

"That's... that's right. She died. She was absorbed into Eva."

**:Flash:**

_A young Shinji stared in horror as he watched his mother frantically disappear into the mechanical beast before his own eyes. "MOTHER!"_

**:Flash:**

"Eva..."

**:Flash:**

_Shinji sat in Unit 01's entry plug after the fight with Shamshel, the Fourth Angel, along with Toji Susuhara and Kensuke Aida._

_"Hey Ikari, you okay?"_

_"I'm okay...I'm okay...I'm okay."_

_"Ikari..."_

_"I'm okay."_

**:Flash:**

"I had friends, I had..."

**:Flash:**

_Before Shinji stood Ryoji Kaji, staring at him with a warm fatherly smile in front of a watermelon patch._

**:Flash:**

_Kaworu was talking to Shinji as they lay on their futons, "What I'm saying is that I love you, Shinji Ikari."_

**:Flash:**

_Misato and Shinji are at the station. "I thought it might be nice to have a family."_

_Shinji dropped his duffle bag as tears began to form in his eyes. "I don't want to go back to where I was before."_

_"let's go back...to our home, okay?_

_"...Sure."_

**:Flash:**

"Misato, she...she cared for me." The pain had finally begun to subside. Shinji, now sitting with his hands planted on the grass behind his back next to the side walk, was panting heavily, obviously shaken. Next to him was a crying Asuka.

"S-Shinji? Are you okay? What's going on? Shinji?"

The Japanese boy looked up at the girl, still confused. "Asuka?" Again the two just stared at each other. Only this time, a kiss was the last thing on their minds. "Asuka..." He tried to remember once again. "Asu- Ahhhhh!" The pain came back full force! There were more scenes and the memories were coming at him fast.

**:Flash:**

_Asuka on the carrier. Him and Asuka fighting the Sixth Angel, Gaghiel, inside Asuka's Unit02. Him and Asuka synchronizing together for a week in order to defeat Israfel, the Seventh. Him and Asuka being accused to be the "married couple" at school. Him saving Asuka in the Volcano. His and Asuka's first kiss. Him playing the cello for Asuka. Asuka while she sleeping and calling out for her mother. Asuka giving him that rare smile. All Asuka. And then there was one last image; Asuka lying comatose in the hospital with bandages around her wrists._

**:Flash:**

Tears began to freely flow down Shinji's face. "Asuka..." It had killed him to see her like that. Her vibrance and lively personality had died and it tore into his already battered soul.

"Shinji, what is it? And what's 'Eva'?" Asuka, still looking at Shinji

"Who are you?" Shinji looked straight into Asuka's eyes. "Who are you!"

'Is, is he going insane?' Asuka was really scared shitless now. She had no idea what was going on. "What do you mean 'Who am I?' I'm Asuka. Asuka Langly Soryu! Your best friend since childho..."

"NO YOU'RE NOT! You're no the real Asuka! I met the real Asuka a year ago on the Over the Rainbow! The real Asuka would know what Eva is because Eva was her life! None of this is real! Misato in a Major, not a teacher. Father left me. Mother...Mother was absorbed into Unit 01, but she still loved me, she still protected me!"

"Shinji, you're not making any sense..."

"Shut up! How do I get out of here? I need to see them, the real them. The real Asuka!"

Shinji was shouting at the top of his lungs when the scenery before him changed. He was now in a void of nothing. the only thing he could see is darkness.

x...x

"I HATE YOU!"

CRASH

Shinji had dropped the coffee pot after Asuka had scream at him.

But that didn't stop her there.

"I HATE YOU!"

The phrase kept on repeating in his mind over and over, mocking him. Mocking his feeling's, mocking his vary being.

'...why...' He didn't even hear what came next.

"I hate you! I hate myself! I hate everybody! Everybody can just DIE!

But all the boy heard was 'I hate you'.

"WHY!" Feeling as if he had just lost everything, Shinji pushed Asuka against the wall and began to choke her.

"WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME!" Shinji's mind went into a frenzy. 'No, NO! I don't want this! I don't want this world!"

Once again the world around him began to fade and he was once again lost in the darkness.

x...x

"I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want to be alone anymore. I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE ANYMORE!"

You are not alone.

"Mother?" Shinji felt a warmth flow threw his body. through all this chaos, he finally felt at peace.

You must choose now.

With everything he had been through, he still had at least one who cared for him. And even possibly, one whom he cared for.

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End Chapter One

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Constructive criticism/reviews are always welcomed and appreciated. Thanks a lot to **Lachryiadron** and **Dr Feelgood **for taking a look at my fic beforehand. You guys rock and I hope that I'll be able to live up to your expectations in writing a fic worthy of EFO!

See you all after I dish out chapter two. (whenever the hell that'll be)

-Incognito Girl


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